Although , as a child ,one of my biggest dreams was actually to grow up , now , as I'm finding myself on the edge of leaving childhood , I freak out.It's not that I don't want to grow up....It's just that ....that I don't want to grow up.I'm scared.Really scared.It took me a lot of time to understand how to be a hassled teenager and it took so much energy out of me to actually become that teen,that now, when I finally can get away from this fake me ...I just don't know how to be me anymore. I don't know who else I could be ,but that hassled teen.I don't know how to act , how to speak , how to look , how to dress , how to think......I'm lost....It's as if I've dressed this shirt that didn't fit me at first ,but now,since I've gained weight , I can't take it off anymore.It's stuck.....and it fits me to well to just cut myself loose, now....